Happy Birthday Jesus

Merry Christmas world...

because..

kasi mahal kita....

Ewan ko ba kung anung naisip ko.. bat ko pa nagawa yun.. hindi ka naman strict sa'kin.. ba't nagawa ko pang magsinungaling.. Di nako natuto.. iwas lagi sa issue... ta's pag nagkakabukuhan.. umaapela pa.. haay.. pero ganun pa man. proud pa rin ako sa sarili ko.. hinarap ko ito.. hinarap kita.. di ko na nakuhang magkubli or magpaliwanang pa... hinarap ko anu man ang maging reaksyon mo.. hinarap ko kahit alam kung kaya mo kong sigawa.. hiyain.. or sumbatan.. kasi mahal kita...

Pero sa puntong ito... kahit sobrang mahal kita.. di na maiibalik ng panahon.. na minsa'y na dismaya kita.. na minsa'y nagsinungaling ako.. na minsa'y nasaktan kita.. at di na mababago ng kapalaran iyon...

Gaano man ako kagaling magpaliwanang.. hindi na maibabalik nun ang nasira mong tiwala..

Ganun pa man... sana hindi nagbagoang pagtingin mo sa kin.. mahal kita.. yun ang alam ko.. tama ang sabi nila.. naguumpisa pa lang ang laban.. hindi ako bibitaw..

kasi mahal kita..

savouring.. (cont.)

November 23:

I thought I will not see you anymore. I did not expect for I don't want to be disappointed. It's better this way, but I was surprised. I received a text from you and you wanted me to go to the mall and meet you there. I just found myself rushing to that mall. I saw you.. you were standing there.. and remained beautiful.

You invited me for a cup of coffee.. I ordered one of my favorite, Caramel Macchiato. As we sat there, you gave me a present. I was surprised as I open the present. It was a bear. It was the same exact bear a gave you the other day....

We decided to watch "New Moon" and you keep on telling me that I looked like the lead guy.. But I don't agree,,, I am not mushy as he is.. I more than mushy.. i'm in love... (lol).

Then It's time for us to part, a difficult thing to do. I was bleeding like hell deep inside me, as if it was the end for the two of us. I kept on bleeding, though I did not let you see it. My heart is tormented. I can't see you go. I found you and there's not way I'm letting go.

But it is a reality that I have to face. A reality to accept the fact that we will be thousand miles apart. But the fact that we may not be together physically, i know that our hearts are binded. We're together on this. we found each other... I won't let go.. I won't wait for you, but instead, wait for me.. i'm comming for you..

savouring the moment

November 14:

I had a second thought of leaving, but I had a previous commitment to work overtime so I failed to catch you at the airport.. I arrived in Pampanga half past 1. Aimiff is texting me already and I told him I can't go. I went to out to meet Pam. I ran out of clothes that is why I decided to buy some stuff. We parted right after.

We've decided to finally meet up. I didn't expect what I felt that very moment. You were laughing but I was so nervous. I played it cool and we talked things out. We meet up your friend and my friends. Then we decided to hop to another place. It was a total fun.. we had our first kiss... we were in love.. we made it our day... to remember.. for the two of us.. just us.

November 15:

I went out again with friends and we watched "2012". Then you followed. We had our time together, alone. We chatted, I had a nice time. Then we went to the city and stroll around. We ate balut and we called it off....

November 16:

It was time for me to leave. You wanted to see me but I couldn't. I've missed you.

November 17:

You've decided to come to Manila to meet up your friends. And I decided not to go to work instead so I can accompany you... We meet up that night, I was so happy. We went to greenbelt and we had a nice time.

November 18:

Our first lunch together. I felt sadness since we'll be parted again. Then I went to work and i missed you so badly.

November 19:

My last day at work before my vacation leave. I was so excited to meet you again.

November 20:

I arrived in Pampanga early in the morning and I had to catch some sleep. You picked me up in the afternoon and we went to pam's. You accompanied me to buy present to your dad. We went to your place and I met your family. They were very nice and accomodating. I felt comfortable with them. then we parted again as we meet emil and we went to a KTV bar until 3 am.

November 21:

It was Saturday. I decided to cook my ever "famous" pasta. My friends came along. They brought food, Silvanas and Ice cream. It was like my birthday celebration, only extra special with you around. Then we went out to help my friend find a gift. Then we parted since you have to meet your friends for dinner. I went home 'coz I was so tired. Then I accompanied my mom and pam as we watched K Brosas at the Casino Filipino. Wished you were there. Then we lost our communication and we failed to have our next plan. I am about to call it off but I was surprised when you came, It was blissful. We went to pam's then we went to a coffee shop.. It was fun as we talked things out again.. Our plans.. Our relationship...

November 22:

We don't have any plan for that day but I woke up so early and went to a Mall to buy my gift for you. I couldn't decide on what to give you but It has to be something special and memorable. So since we'll be away for a year and that I can't be with you during those special events in your life. I decided to give you 4 different gifts for our first Monthsary, our first Christmas, our first Valentines day, and your 26th birthday. Wishing to be with you during those special days.

Then we went Angeles City and stroll around. We ate "kwekwke" as per your request, and it was a total fun. We went to church then we bought Bibinkga....

You have to meet your friends and I decided to rest. You wanted to meet at night but I told you to stick to your friends for tonight since it might take you a while to be with them again.

November 23:

You're last whole day today and I don't know if you're meeting me.. It would cut me down to my vein if I would not see you for the last time.. but it's not for me to decide. I have enjoyed every single moment together and I could not really ask for more. Knowing the fact that you are just around makes me move at the edge of my sit.
As I write this, I can't help but to think of you.. your sweet words.. your warm embrace.. your succumbing kiss... I wonder when can i hold you again...

irony

Hmnnn.. upon opening my blog, I pause for a while. I can't put up the right words that would best describe how I really feel. It was filled with mixed emotions. So I just stared on my pc... and then there was a pause.

Life seems to be so unpredicatble. You'll never know what will happen next so you should expect the unexpected and learn to adapt to any exhuberant change.

I was the saddest person in the world, when the storm hit me early this year. I was defeated, I struggled, I fought, I regain, I survived and I have learned. Things went smoothly to my life. I told myself that it was just one part of me.. there are other things or aspect in my life that needs my attention...

Few peron came along, but I took every single step as easy as possible. I do not want to let my self be forced and dwell in to something I am not really sure. But never that I expected that someone like you would come on a right time... on a right place..

I was gravitated to you.. even from the very first day. I was afraid but something's telling me that I am doing the right thing...

Then we've met.. finally. It was not the perfect setting but it was blissful... serene..

At a single snap, I am he happiest person again... Heaven's what I felt in the arms of an imperfect being...

But again, life has it's own way.. I am again in the midst of sadness.. sad not because this will end... but I am feeling this because we have to be apart again..

but I am thankful, beause if Cinderella has only until midnight, I was given 10 wonderful days... and I am thnakful.. because I was given a chance.. to be with you.. and to prove my worth for your love..

You may leave,, but it doesn't mean goodbye for us.. I will be waiting... I found you.. and you found me.. I'm not letting go....

TAKING CHANCES

Don’t know much about your life.
Don’t know much about your world, but
Don’t want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don’t know much about my past, and
I don’t have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it’s not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say? (2x)

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say? (2x)

And I had my heart beating down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do, like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say? (2x)

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world

A Song for you..

Another Meredith's line

"When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for, is that one day, we'll be lucky enough to forget."


Meredith Grey,
Grey's Anatomy

HAPPY by Leona Lewis

Mother-son bonding

I still can remember the days when me and my mom used to go somewhere.. We dine, we shop, we visit our relative's houses, we do our grocery, we attend Tupperware parties, or we go home to our province. Sometimes, my brother would go with us but most of the time, I was the only who gets to go with my mom since I'm the youngest and I wasn't going to school yet that time.

But as days passed, the trips became seldom and then I was trained to do things alone. Until I realized that I wasn't going with my mom anymore whenever she gets to leave the house and do the things we used to do, since I have to do things for myself as a grown up.

Last night, right after the mass, we decided to go out. We went to SM clark and dine at this local restaurant. After that, we watched a movie. I just thought we'll be watching "in my life" but she insisted not to because it might just make her cry, so I abide.

The ending, we watched Eugene Domingo's KimmyDora-ang kambal sa keme. It was a total fun and until now, I find myself laughing whenever I remember some of the wacky scenes. She's superb!

So there, I've been to so many places and done several things in the past, but bonding with parents is something you really can't trade for anything else in the world....

revelations 2 (somewhere in my past...)

aeiou...

After 2 years, I saw you again... never thought that we would have another chance to meet up.. funny because the way we ended was not that great, I mean, It was a sad but we learned from it. We played it cool and I am happy for what we have become... You are still with someone else and that I am so happy for you..., As for me, as i told you, I definitely fine... I was just ensuring that everything is fine before I dwell on such tings right now.. I hope you find the real happiness..

30 minutes remaining..

You are the coolest person I've ever known.. taking things in a very light and bubbly way.. thanks for the time we have spent together... I enjoyed seeing you after merely 2 years but this time u are so far yet you seem near... i miss the kulitan.. and that 30 minutes..


The cube...

I just talked to you last night.. I am happy that you are happy too.. wish you all the best in life... thank you for the time and I hope you won't forget "the beyonce experience" and the mall we used to call "the cube"..

the Blonde..

Our time was short, but it was well spent.. I am happy for you too.. but I am lucky to fall in love with YOUR best friend... i know...

memoirs in greenmeadows..

damn! I miss u so much! I didn't reply last night.. I was soo tired..

Heart vs Anne

I can't run away from you so I hid you instead. And yet, I still keep on getting signs from you.. oh well.. it's a small world after all... just don't let our paths meet again... for what it's worth, I have learned to live my life alone..

and Aubrey was your name

It's good that we're good... I am hoping to see you again...
__________________

On the lighter note...

I got a long weekend recently and I did nothing but play on my facebook account or update my status and post some songs... It was fun but tiring and somehow boring.. I had a great time yesterday with my friends though.. and nice chat with some people I have known...

I know na how to download videos to my iPhone.. and for the record, i am not selling it anymore... sorry...

I failed to watch district 9, UP, and time traveler's wife.. I hope I can catch them up :)

Imagine me and you, I do..... haaay.. can'tget this out of my mind......

ur so gay

by Katy Perry



I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would just be real with me

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
Oh no no no no no no no
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like… PENIS

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

REVALATIONS...-part 1 (lost memory...)

Quarter-life crisis one of the issues someone my age should be going through. But for me, this could be one of the least thing that I needed to dwell most. I have so many things to unravel and self-pity is not one of things I should be prioritizing. The mere facts that I am blessed with achievements and am with loved ones are enough to say that I don’t have to immerse myself into obscurity.

I am sick. I found out all about this few days ago when I felt discomforts and I have to get checked. It was confirmed, I am not in a good condition though I have to undergo several test. It saddened me due to the fact that I am still young to be in these health issues. I said “these” because the conflict of my medical issues does not only revolve to one concern, it’s several.

I am not that strong. I don’t know how I managed not to panic. To let this all get in to me would not do me any good. I asked myself, why me? There are billions of people but why is it me? It’s very distressing.

My condition is not as difficult as any other heath problems, it is curable. But there are so many why that lingers into my mind. I am happy with the other things I have. To finally found someone that makes me blissful is a reason enough to celebrate and live life to the fullest. But is this the price I have to pay?

I have to admit to myself that I am still lucky that I was able to survive in the midst of the deepest fate that I have been..... (unfinished)

Written last year, I wasn't able to post this blog entry.. I just found it while cleaning up my mails...

a confession of a drifting soul...

I found myself again looking outside the window from the bus while on my way home this morning to Pampanga. I just feel like doing some realizatons as the sun rises from the horizon...

I was sad again. I never thought that I would be free from it after the series of unfortunate events that shattered my world early this year. it came as a surprise as I cope so fast from the misfortunes and grievings. I even asked my friends, and myself, if it is even possible to move on that quick from an excruciating event.

Am I too positive? Did I just fool myself that I kept my mind so focused and so excited about getting the next best thing? was it only a make beleive that sun shines after every rain? Or I am not in a normal state of being since people who have encountered great sorrow takes time to heal and it only took me few months?

My friend Audrey said that maybe because it was too painful that it pushed me to move out of it and rise above. I received a message from a friend too, stating that life is like a ball being dribbles. Sometimes, you go up, but sometimes it goes down.But sometimes, the harder we fall, the higher we bounce. It is a nice thought really.

But all I am saying is that, why do I have to feel this sadness again? i asked mysekd if I have really recovered from the depression and I am positive that I have. But where does this sadness comming from? why am I not happy enough like I used to. Isn't done yet? Does really misfortunes comes in threes? is the torture never gonna end? what is it going to happen this time?


All I wanted is to get my groove back.. If love is not for me then be it.. I may not be used to being single but I can try.. more than willing to do so..
at least I want to have my life back. I want to get back the courage and the willingness to move on.. to fiind life again..

I am actually happy.. for having time, finally, for my family.. my friends.. and f or myself... I just wish I would be given a chance again.. to go again on the battle.. to go on with the dreams that I am hoping.. to dance with the tune of life again.. but sadly.. i have lost it all... I am struggling.. and I even felt that life itself is turning back at me... wherein losing hope ang giving up is not an option... but to keep on hanging.. even it's all againist the odds..
______________________________________________

On a lighter note...


I was too busy that I didn't realize that I have not been working out for 3 weeks.. I acquired additional pounds this time. The culprit? my co-QA's are fascinated with bringing food and "requiring" us to bring ours whenever we are asked to. I find it fun though, we are bonding and at the same time we are able to save money because it cost a lot whenever we eat outside.

I have watched GI Joe earlier and I finally seen a great movie this year. The only thing is that I failed to watch it at THX cinemas and I just wished that I saw it in Manila.

I am becomming a fan of Facebook nowadays but not realy with the games.

Beside the river Piedra, I sat down and weep... by Paulo Cohelio is the book that I am currently reading and hopefully I would be able to finish it by this week. I just hope I wrote the title correctly, not so sure though. Yeah, it was too long.

I got so addicted to Boys Over Flowers series due to my friends at the office. It was like a contagious that most of us were hooked to it that I even borrowed its DVD so i can finish it quicker than my colleagues. It was the only "koreanovela" I got hooked to after "endless love 1".

"Memoirs of an imperfect angel" is the new album of MIMI.. can't wait to have one. "Obsessed" is its new single and Its melody is still running inside my mind as i write this entry.

My sun number had expires.. I wasn't or should I say, i never loaded it so it came to its end.

I have not installed a game or bought any game for my PSP and PS2 but I am still in the process of scuttling the gamezone to check for good games. I know that Sony is releasing the updated version of PSP that is why the old model and its games will be phased-out soon.

I better sleep now.. it's 4 am. enough of my endless blabbing.. nyt.

what's keeping...

I'm taking it back.. I'm loving my iPhone again.. I was able to "unbrick" it and now I have the updated software.. Now, I can copy, paste and forward text.. isn't that awesome?

Just had so many activities for the last days and I get so bored at work but not with my friends there coz' I just run around and make kwento to my buddies and tooo much smoking is really killing me... an issue is currently on a wild fire.. so winded and I can't blab it out here... this is my blog and there's another site that is becoming a hot spot nowadays...

I just saw Kristoffer last night at SM clark while I'm with my friends.. after 10 long years, I saw one of my buddy back in BS Architecture days.. in Baguio that is..


Facebook occupies most of my free time.. even when I'm at the mall, I always find time to check my facebook whenever WIFI is available and I even downloaded a FACEBOOK application on my iPhone.

I'm back to loving Grey's anatomy.. it was sooo great... it is making me a tear-jerker.. hope I got that right..

I have so many plans this coming months and I hope everything will fall in to places.

Someone's inspiring me.. But I don't want to dwell on it for now.. I don't want to spoil the moment.. I'm just happy... and I want to keep it that way...

Transformers 2 and Harry Potter 6 are kind of disappointing.. I read the book and I felt sorry for those who were not able to read the book... guess they missed a lot of it.. transformer's fine but I was not just fascinated.. for a fact that they got a really bad review.... the story line is really not that superb.. I guess people went to see it for the effects.. just for that I guess..

The songs "I got the feeling" by BEP, "PAPARRAZI" by Lady Gaga, "21 guns" by Greenday, "Goodbye" by Kristina Debarge are just some of teh new hits I've been playing nowadays...

I'm looking forward for the movies "Sherlock holmes", "GI Joe" and "The Ugly truth".

iPhone

right after I'v e learned that it is too easy to upgrade the software of my iPhone on iTunes, I went ahead and tried to get the new version.. and to my surprise, I got locked out and it doesn't recognize my SIM anymore. It was so terrible!And now I have to go to Greenhills pa or St. Francis Square to have it fixed.

I guess it is just so timely that I have to have it changed to something better since I am way too pissed about it. I just don't know if I am just not a techie person or it is not just good at all. In the first place, I never liked it and I never hear any good comments from the users about it.

But for now, maybe I just have to deal with it! But wait till I get my LG!

aim if you can...

I'm so godamn excited about you, about us.. What the hell happened to me? Why did I ignore you the first time I was with you? and now I feel sorry for myself.. because I missed a lot of times that we could have been together.. that we could have shared some of the good memories together.. and now i have to start from the scratch.. I was hoping that it is not too late.. i want you to know me.. I want you to feel me.. I want my world to revolve around your world.. It's insane.. it's nuts.. seems like I never learned from the past and now here I am again.. ready to take the risk,, ready to take the battle...

but u are scared.. i am too.. but let us see..

emo song

Every now and then I cry
Every night you keep stayin' on my mind
All my friends say I'll survive
It just takes time

CHORUS
But I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart
No I don't see how it can if it's broken all apart
A million miracles could never stop the pain
Or put all the pieces together again
No I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart
No I don't see how it can while we are still apart
And when you hear this song
I hope that you will see
That time won't heal a broken-hearted me

Every day is just the same
Playin' games, different lovers, different names
They keep sayin' I'll survive
It just takes time

CHORUS

Time won't heal a broken-hearted me

gone too soon....

It was very evident that during my childhood days, I was a fanatic of Michael Jackson. His moves were amazing that I tried to copy him so hard during my younger days. It is still a vivid memory for me how my tito's and tita's asked me to perform for them during my 4th birthday. I was not ashamed at all as I danced one of his hit "Beat it" from his thriller album. I wasn't able to do the moonwalk though.. but it was fun. Until I've grown listening to his hits. I never bought any of his albums but I see to it that I am updated with his new hits.




I even remember envying my classmates who were able to watch his one-night-only concert in manila during the 90's. Fascinated with his sad songs, "Childhood", "gone too soon", "She's out of my life", and "you are not alone", I used to borrow my sister's "song hits" and scan its pages and practice these songs.

Just last year, I downloaded his songs to my iPod to relive the memories of childhood and my early teenage years. His Album "thriller" celebrated it's 25th year after its release.

And to my surprise, last thursday, June 25, The King of Pop passed away at the only age of 50. It is not yet clear the reason for his passing but the world was shocked with this very sad news....

MJ, you are indeed an inspiration to many.. Some mocked you, tried to pull you down... but you stood and recovered.. you fought well from the battle you were in that anyone could ever imagine.. I looked up to you...

I wished you peace from the after life as you are now in a much happier place..... As Mariah Said, your star will shine forever... you are indeed, the real Peter Pan..

-wayne-fan

Childhood

Written and composed by michael jackson.
Produced by michael jackson.


Have you seen my childhood?
I’m searching for the world that I come from
’cause I’ve been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
’cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I’m not okay
’cause I love such elementary things...
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the childhood
I’ve never known...

Have you seen my childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my childhood?

People say I’m strange that way
’cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the childhood I’ve never known...

Have you seen my childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I’ve had

Have you seen my childhood....

fill me in!!

Happy Father's day

I'm glad to be your son.. thank you so much for always believing in me...

The man who can't be moved

by the scprit

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
saying, "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"

Some people try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

Cuase If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman says, "son you can't stay here"
I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,
I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

Maybe i'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
cuase you'll know it's just for you
Im the man who can't be moved

Chorus 2x

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

PARA SA MGA TAONG HINDI PA KSI MAG MOVE ON NA LANG!!!

Happy Ending

by Avril Lavign

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

anticipatons..

It's June.. start of the rainy season.. goddbye to Summer and hello rain... It's been raining the past few days and I can't help it but to just stay at home and enjoy the serenity of being Home-alone. It was so nice to sleep the whole day.. havent been to the gym for a coule of days now, but once I have my groove back, I'll hit the gym again.

It is the start of summer in the US and I have been looking forward to the movies what will be shown this season. I am a fan of Harry Potter and I have posted so many blog entries about it. I am so excited with the new Harry Potter movie, it is one of the flick that I am anticipating. I am also looking forward for Transformers 2, Ice age 3, Up, G.I. Joe, and the chick flick, "The proposal".

I have no plans yet for this comming weekend but I might stay home because I am also anticipating my new possesion, that I've been wanting to have.. it's gonna be a secret from now. It is just overwhenling because I will have this "thing" through the kindess of a dear friend.

JUNE- birthday month for most of the special persons of my life. My friends, Pham, 17th, Emil, 13th, Noy, 16th, ex, 9th, my mom 17th, my sister 21st, and my cousin Aibee on the 22nd.

on letting go

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.


wala lang, sinend lang ni Banjo sa email ko at naaliw nmn daw ako

Another tiring weekend

After the crazy trip last week, I went home again to my dearest hometown and spent some time with my family. I missed hanging around at home and I was able to get enough sleep. Imagine 15 long hours of non-stop-snoring sleep. I woke up so relieved as if I'm a brand new person again.

Last Friday I watched "Angel's and Demons" with noy before going to work and last night, Sunday, I was with Pham and Emill and we watch "Night at the Museum 2". The two movies are good.. nothing really extra-ordinary. After which, we decided to talk things out over a coffee and since Emill can't wait for next week for another KTV night, we suddenly found ourselves singing our lungs out at our fave tambayan... Wishing well.

I wasn't able to see my other friends and unfortunately, I won't be able to come home next week because of series of activities with my Office friends. I am enjoying every bit of it and trying to just focus on the things I should be doing in the first place.

I will be living alone again since my housemates will be moving out this week. I think that it would really be better off if I am going to be alone for the next few months. It will be easier for me to do things alone.

My friends are also bothered by me because I am asking them to think for "hobbies" that I might be delving myself into. I just want to do things I have never done before and I am, again, envious of my other friend's hobbies... I just feel like i have more time to spend even I have workloads, gym, home, gimik with friends.

You're In Love

Wilson Philipps

Open the door and come in
I'm so glad to see you my friend
Don't know how long it has been
Having those feelings again.

And now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

[Chorus:]
Aah, my love, Aah
You're in love
That's the way
It should be
'Cause I want you to be happy
You're in love
And I know
That you're not in love with me
Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

Sometimes it's hard to believe
That you're never coming back to me
I've had this dream that you'd always be by my side
Oh I could have died.

But now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free.
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

[Chorus]

I tried to find you but you were so far away
I was praying that fate would bring you back to me
Someday, someday, someday... Ooh, you're in love

Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

[Fade]

Minalin Trip - Summer ender

I had a very crazy trip to the suburbs of Minalin Pampanga this weekend... It was a one-of-a-kind experience with my Pampanga Hommies.. It was such a blast.. did some stuff for the first time like fishing, cruising on a super mini boat, exploring the safaric ambiance of the Minalin river, Camping beside a huge fish pond, and doing some agricultural stuff for my friend's hobby - Bonsai.

We themed the trip as Survivor-Minalin!

I had posted some pics on my Facebook account for the complete photos.. hope you'll enjoy them as much as I did.

heartless

Kris from American Idol nailed the competition as he was the first to be picked for the finals… He performed “heartless” by kanye west and I can say that he knocked it down… I was amazed with his performance.. I never liked the song until he sang it.. now I am excited for the finals next week…. I would go for Adam.. but if Kris would sing another “heartless” then, it would be a big challenge for him..

heartless by Kris Allen

Heartless

Kanye West
In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so,
Cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo
Just remember that you talking to me yo
You need to watch the way you talking to me you know
I mean after all the things that we been through
I mean after all the things we got into
And yo I know of some things that you ain't told me
And yo I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back
And you gon' show me
So you walk around like you don't know me
You got a new friend
Well I got homies
But in the end it's still so lonely

In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?


How could you be so Dr. Evil
You're bringing out a side of me that I don't know
I decided we weren't gonna speak so why we up 3 a.m. on the phone
Why does she be so mad at me for, homie I don't know she's hot and cold
I won't stop, won't mess my groove up cause I already know how this thing goes,
You run and tell your friends that you're leavin' me
They say that they don't see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon' see,
You'll never find nobody better than me

In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?


Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk,
Baby lets just knock it off
They don't know what we been through
They don't know 'bout me and you
So I got something new to see
And you just gon' keep hatin' me
And we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
and you can't make it right
Im gon' take off tonight
Into the night...

In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?

an excerpt from Madel's email

I swallowed all my pride until nothing was left for me.. but I guess I can no longer blame myself since I’ve done my part.. The most painful part is that I’ve asked so many signs.. and all of the signs came to life.. everything.. so I held on.. knowing that things will be good for me.. for us.. but no matter what, how much you love the person, if it’s really not meant for you, then there’s nothing you can do.. I used to believe that Love conquers all.. but it turned out that it is just a make believe.. for people who continue to fool their themselves… I still cry, especially right now.. that there’s no choice but to accept it and move on… I just think that I am not the only one who suffered from what happened.. that time will heal all wounds.. that there would be life after this

Bring Me to Life

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 20 friends (make me #21 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE ASKS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
>>Moonlight over paris by Paolo Santos

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
>> When I met you (APO)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
>> The Scientist (Coldplay)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
>> My Humps (BEP)-- weird

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
>> Weeping willows, cocktails (Regine)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
>>Clouds across the room (Regine)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
>> If you Seek Amy (Britney- hahahaha)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
>> HOME (Michael Buble)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
>>Breaking My Heart Again (Aqualung)-- tsk tsk tsk

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
>>Tonight (JOnas Bros)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
>>Stepping through (resident hero)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
>> One Last Cry (Brian Mcnight) -ouch!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
>> O.O.C. (Mariah E=MC2)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
>> When I grow up (PCD)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
>>Fallen (Lauren Wood)-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
>> If this isn't love (JHud)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
>> If you're not the One (D.Beddingfeild)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
>> Left behind (Aqualung)-Nice

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
>> Beatiful, Dirty, Rich (Lady Gaga) - hahahaha.. Amazing!!

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
>> Here without you (3 doors down)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
>> Feedback (Janet jackson)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
>> Bring me to Life (Evanesence)


.....a notebook entry from my Facebook account, I find it cool..

Bohol trip

not much...

it's been gloomy the past few days due to the typhoon "emong". I'll a have 3 days off and I don't know if I can go out because of the weather.. Been slacking-off the past few days at work because it's just the first week of the Month.

I've seen "Wolverine" and it I find it good. They made him very likeable, very human knowing his attitude and guts. I'm excited about the next one, Magneto. I hope it will be better than Wolverine.

I am looking forward for "Angels and Demons" too. I forgot the storyline but I have a book and it's a bit thick, I might be just browsing it later since it has Photos (illustrated edition.. hehehe).


I just told my friend that I had an LSS (Last Song Syndrome) with "Just Dance" by lady Gaga.. It keeps on playing on my mind...

it's over

I's done... It's finally over.. I should not be whining about it.. and there should be no more post about it.. everything has been said and done.. It's exhausting.. painful and traumatic... lessons learned.. it's all behind me now... all I want is to move on... and be happy...

And yes, I'm currently upset, so upset coz' I let you make me stupid... to beleive in your lies.. your deception... bitter as it may sound.. but you ruined me..

One thing's for sure.. what goes around, comes around.. don't forget that...

bleed

It is so painful on my part that you were ousted from the company.. it cuts so deep... all the memories we've shared lingers within the four walls of this room.. I am not used to not seeing you around.. just your presence made me go on.. made me live.... You just don't have any idea how I feel right now... it's bleeding right through my vein, right through my soul.. I just don't know how to surpass this.. it is worse than the day you left...

passing by...

for 3 days now, I was doing absolutely nothing.. as in just at work but just chating or simply just staring at my monitor... The application we used for our monitors is not working so we really have to stand by...

I'm excited with my Bohol trip.. at last, I would have time to relax and plunge into the cystal clear waters of it's famous beaches. I'm really looking forward for this..

sigh... that's all I can do..

Got so tired from the trip and yesterday's activity. Earlier, I attended another event not so far from my Alma matter. it was so overwhelming to be in the place again after 10 years and there were so many memories that suddenly came in to my senses.. I just love doing some reminiscing.. well, that's all I can do anyway... here's another good song that I just added on my playlist...

--------------------

If This Isn't Love Lyrics
by Jennifer Hudson

I’m calling his phone up
Just to tell him how much
I really love him ‘cause
His everything I want
He listens to me, he cares for me
So I truly believe

God sent me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

I’m selfish ‘cause I don’t
Wanna share him with nobody
Not even knows
People that came before me
But see, I never believed

God would send me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh

So if you got real love
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
The kind of love that fits quite like a drug
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
If this isn’t love
‘Cause I know I ain’t crazy
I know I ain’t tripping
I know I ain’t slipping
I know that is love
You see me with my hands up
If you think I’m dreaming
I know I ain’t dreaming
‘Cause this is the reason I love him because
If this isn’t love

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

Love, L-O-V-E
Love, L-O-V-E

quick update... lol

It's going to be a chaotic month for me.. imagine handling the whole segment.. It makes me chill.. the responisibility and the task... It's going to be like the work of a Manager... it's driving me nuts...

Can't wait to get a tan again.. can't wait for BOHOL..

First time again to go to gym.. after the holy week.... and here I am.. doing this post..

I trust you. that's all I can say...

facebook

I am finally in.. hahaha.. after a long time.. I have my own FB, thanks to my friends and they are so good.. I had a hard time creating one since I'm not so familiar with it unlike conventional FS, which I had since 2003.

Holy week seems to be so fast.. It just passed me by.... few of my friends were outside the metro and I had some invitaion.. I opted to go home to Angeles. it's an out of town though... I just stayed home and met some of my friends.. it was just fine.. nothing extra ordinary about it...

see yah around...

Match Made In Heaven........

Brewed Coffee and a stick of cigarette.. then listen to India Arie...it would make your day... haaaaayyyy... get back to work wayne!

your thoughts.....

know this is just the start of my summer adventure..
I'm just so Happy.. never felt like this before..
Thank You So Much..

-March 28, 2008

Today, April 27 is a very extraordinary day for me..
Bliss..
Happiness..
Heaven..
I’m just so happy..

I’m done for today, can’t wait to go home..
P.S
I Love You…

-April 27, 2008

This could not be possible without YOU….
You had me up-side-down when I met YOU…
I am staying…
Forever…

-June 9, 2008

Just to share, my significant other actually cooked the BEST pasta in the World.. Bought a Jr. cake and some chix and cola to complete the simple menu.. Very few friends came and we had fun...
To you..
Thank you so much for coming in my life..

-June 10, 2008

````~~~~~~

All these sweet thoughts are just for me to keep..........
but I couldn't help but wonder.. yes, what realy went wrong?

...............

The Heart Of The Matter - India Arie -

"The Heart Of The Matter"

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore
Even if you don't love me anymore

used to be..

It’s sad to accept how time flies so fast…

That the person was once your world…

The one you start and end your day with…

The reason of your existence…

Had just swiftly turn into someone
Who only says “hi” or just give you
a quick smile now…

Or worse, had just become a familiar face..

What if...

I have not cried the past few days... I thought I am doing ok.. until I heard this over our lunch with my Manager, this midnight at mcDonalds, while smoking... It just made my tears fall...

I ran into a friend of yours the other day
And I asked her how you been
She said my girl is fine jus bought a house
Got a job a real good man
I told her I was glad for u that?s wonderful
But does she ever ask bout me
She said

shes happy with her life right now

Let her go let her be

And I told myself I would
but something in my heart would just not let you go
I just want to know

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

Your friend asked me if there was some1 special
in my life that I was seeing
I told her there was no1 in particular
There?s jus I myself and me
I told her that I dream of you quite often
she jus cut her eyes at me

she said you?ve got a home you?re very happy
so just stop your meddling

I told her that I won't
I said that things were cool
but I guess I was wrong

I still cant move on

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

Now that could be my car
that could be my house
that could be my baby boy
that you?re nursing
that could be the trash
That I always take out
that could be the chair
I love to chill in

That could be my food on the table at the end of the day
hugs and the kisses all the love being made
what the hell do u expect me to say

what if its really supposed be this way
what if you?re really supposed to be with me

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

```````````~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I've waited all of my life to find someone like you.. I can wait another lifetime just to be with you again"

if only for one night

bu Luther Vandross

Let me hold you tight
If only for one night
Let me keep you near
To ease away your fear
It would be so nice
If only for one night

I won't tell a soul
No one has to know
If you want to be totally discreet
I'll be at your side
If only for one night

Your eyes say things i never hear from you
And my knees are shakin too
But i'm willin to go thru
I must be crazy
Standin in this place
But i'm feeling no disgrace

For asking......

Let me hold you tight
If only for one night
Let me keep you near
To ease away your fear
It would be so nice
If only for one night

I tell you what i need is
One night, one night oh (and oh, oh)
What i need is
One night, one night
Of your love, of you love, of your lovin ooh
I'm asking...

Let me take you home
To keep you safe and warm
Till the early dawn
Warms up to the sun
It would be so nice if only for one night

If only for one night
If only for one night
If only for one night, night, night, yeah one night
If only for one.........night



I just so love this song.. it doesn't remind me of something though.. I just heard it over the radio.... this day seems to be a little different.. I feel like I'm getting better as days goes by

step by step, little by little.

It is another boring sunday at work though I still have to finish a lot of stuff. This day seems to be better compared from the previous days. I am more composed and I can think better after everything that happened. I may not be fully recovered yet but I am positive that I am almost there. It is somehow exciting to face tomorrow with a smile on my face, inspite of not knowing what wil happen next. The pain from yesterday still lingers but It is now, somehow, manageable.

Last night, I spoke to my sister and admitted everything to her, as in everything. I gasp my breath in releif because it was a little step to free myself from my own seclusion. I also confide about my plans within the next few days and I am pleased that she agreed to support such decisions.

Another little step that I have to make is to stay away from the 2 person I am seeing the past few days, a brave and compelling decision. I have to do it because not for anyone else but for myself. I know for a fact that it will not at all help me to go on. It will also be unfair, not just for me, but for them. I can not use them just for a selfish reason. But I am happy because they understood my assesment, but I thank them for the short span of time that I spent with them knowing that I still can not replace the person that I used to be with.

In the process of healing, I have to keep a positive environment. Though alone at times, I have to use it to assess all the plans that I made. I am also thankful to all those people that I was surrounded with during that darkest days of my life. They stood up for me like a candle in the midst of a murky tunnel.

I still cry, most of the moment when I remenisce the memories. It is he hardest thing to fight. I tried not to think of them, because it may just bring back the aches, but I decided to keeo them. I can not just throw them away.

Acceptance is another process of healing, but I can say that I am half way there. I want to be fine, I want to live a normal life but I guess, and everyione would, it will take time.

Someday, the sun will shine.... I will not be afraid anymore.. Someday, I will be thankful to what happened, because it thought me, to be strong.. to love and be love.. and someday, I will love again.

You (feb 29, 08)

Alone..
Desterted..
Abandoned..
The best lexis to describe myself what went before..

Dull..
Lifeless..
Dim..
Moments which i should have not bypass.. But no regrets... It's worth the wait.. YOU came... All things alter..

Contented..
On cloud nine..
Euphoria..
Feelings on no account i felt facing..

Continue..
Dwell..
Carry on..
Standpoint that i don't want to put an end to...

Life..
Breath..
Soul..
Means of me being worthy..

Love..
Other Half..
Adoration..
These i pledge...

End..
Conclusion..
Finale..
Will only be the day that i depart this life..

Your first blog entry... happiest moment of my life

here is my first entry ablout you

lifted (december 08)


It's been a turmoil... never ending slope... That's how I describe the life I had for almost 2 months...... it was really a roller coster ride... like a 360 degrees turnaround....

Failed relationship lead to another... almost gave up but still hang on to the hope that someday.. a final destination will be fulfilled... and there you came....

Out of the reverie... you change my life completely...

I was submerged into nothingness... you came when I least expected you to... and there you are, a promise that I thought I wouldn't do...

I know that we have a long road to travel on.. but I am not afraid anymore.. coz I know that you will be there with me until we reach the end of othis journey...

Let's start a new and forget all the miseries and troubles we once had.. and I can assure you that the love you never had will be unselfishly be given to only you...

"I once was lost into darkness... you lifted me... lifted me up... keep me and I will keep you forever in my arms......."

"I Stay In Love"

Oh baby
Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know

[Chorus:]
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know

[Chorus x2]

I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love.



----

I don't know what I'm still doing..
you already pushed my away and you're inlove with someone else
I tried to forget you but I really can't. Now that you said that I have to move on, why am I still crying in pain.. I tried to let you go.. I really did.. I even tried to tell him to take care of you.. because you deserve to be happy.. because he loves you too... but I can why can't I go on with my life.. knowing that you still love me to...

-
bed, 03/14/09
-----

I did all I can.. but I guess you're already giving up.. maybe I have to face it. alone... but I know that sun will shine on me....

office, 3/15/09

a month of agony

I'm not really sure if I'm ready for this or what. It's been a month since the greatest turmoil of my life. It does sound awkward.... bitter and painful but it was a harsh reality that I had to face and to go through.. I was left desolated in agony, a moment in my life I never thought that will come.. I was blinded with love and care but never did i thought that it will end this way.. cruel and excruciating..

It was the same love that transcend our relationship and the same love that almost ended this life.. I tried to lift myself from the misery and tried to move on.. But I just really can’t.. You’re the life that I once had and it made me a lot better person.. Even if you left, I just can’t go on… I really can’t let go..
They said that by loosing you would only mean that the next best thing will come… But giving up would only mean that I accepted the fact that I will lose you.. something that I really can’t bear at all.. It was a harsh reality but I am more than willing to put up the fight..

Not until you say so.. Not until you want me to stop.. Not until you want me to give it up..
I would not have the courage to fight until you say that you don’t have the same feelings anymore… until you want me to surrender.. It was a fact that I have to face.. A struggle that I have to deal with..
But one thing’s for sure.. Life without you would mean an end to this life..
_________________________________```~~..,,,


YESTERDAY

I just can't believe you're gone
Still waiting for morning to come
Wanna see if the sun will rise
In the way that you're by my side ooo
When we had so much in store
Tell me what is it I'm reaching for
When we're through building memories
I'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made (plans we made)
They can take the music that will never play
All the broken dreams, take everything
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday

They can take the future that we'll never know (never know)
They can take the places that we said we will go,
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday

You always use to say
I should be thankful for everyday
Heaven knows what the future holds
Or least how the story goes
I never believed them til now
I know I'll see you again I'm sure
No it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face
But they can't take yesterday
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/xq ]

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made (plans we made)
They take the music that will never play
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams),
take everything (take everything)
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

They can take the future that we'll never know (never know)
They can take the places that we said we will go
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams),
take everything (take everything)
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

I thought our days would last forever
But it wasnt our destiny
Cuz in my mind we had so much time
But I was so wrong
Now I can believe that
I can still find the strengh in the moments we made
I'm lookin back on yesterday

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made (plans we made)
They take the music that will never play (I know)
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams),
take everything (take everything)
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday (yesterday)

They can take the future that we'll never know (never know)
They can take the places that we said we will go
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams), take everything
Just take it away (take everything)
But they can never have yesterday

Oh the broken dreams, take everything
But they can never have yesterday

Ano nuevo!!!

New year.
Good thing to start all over again. A new begining gor a new self. I want to be fit, again. I want to achieve the figure that I used to have 2 years ago and I'll be going back to the same gym.. I'm excited about it. I want to save. I'm not getting any younger.. I should be saving for the future... I'll be 27 within the next few days and I can't help but think about my future.

New House.
I just moved to another place but with the same area, just different building. It was exciting because I bought new furnitures for my new room and for the "mini" kithchen. I spend the money that I was able to save from the previous xmas pay for my new stuff. I think this will motivate me more to changes I'm about to dealt with.

New Reps.
Yes, additional reps for me and that would only mean more task.

New look?
Hmmnnn,,, back on top please.

New mind-set.
To be more career oriented and to strive more this year. I want to move up. It's been a year with my current position and as we mature as a paerson, we wanted to keep going and see what else can we give.

New Experiences.
I want to do things I wish I could have done before. As of now, I can't think of any details but once the idea poopped out from my head. I just want to experience something new this time.

New Priorities.
Hopefully not.